Change Happens!
Change happens but knowing how to make the best of it is part of life’s learning. Here are some insights that may help you embrace and create conscious change.
Autumn upon us, nights slowly drawing in, leaves turning from vibrant green to the autumnal glory of russet, golds, reds and brown. The light is more mellow and grey. Rainbows more frequent as the skies are lit by the sun, lower on our horizon, lifting the experience of rain into a process of wonder and awe. We are experiencing the change of the season with its stronger winds, changes in temperature, and conditions that can become harsh and destructive. We too ,can often feel this shift as difficult and challenging. We cling to what we know and find it hard to let go, so things breakdown and change is forced upon us. So how do we get back into the rhythm of nature, and our own changing nature?
Well, like it or not change happens! We are energy after all, and energy is ever changing and responding or reacting. As individuals our own energy changes at a different rate to others. Changes in the the vibration and influences of the sun, earth and moon work upon us naturally. The effect impacts upon our physical experience, energy, moods and choices. Whilst this can be uplifting spiritually, often spirits sink with less sunshine – again a very physical response within the body. Technology is changing at a phenomenal rate, affecting our lifestyle fundamentally, in positive and negative ways, both in our internal and external environments. Much we don’t choose or have a choice over, but as ever, looking at what we can do is more empowering.
A Time for Reflection
After a busy year of activity the fruits of the harvest are brought in to prepare and provide for the period of hibernation and restoration. It is a time for self-reflection, awareness and mindfulness, and gratitude. What belief supported your choices, what was(is) the vision you hold, what purpose did(does) it serve? How did it work out and what steps do you see are necessary to achieve your ongoing or new vision? Taking stock is a very rich resource for moving forward again in the spring. Attitudes and choices affect our internal and external experience of life. Developing a deeper awareness and understanding of ourselves can develop our next steps more consciously. In this way, being present in the moment, truly is a gift.
As with all aspects of well being, changes in our physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual experience need review and balance. How have you found balance in where has life taken you and how has this impacted? You are unique which means that only you have the answers to such questions. The guiding light of your own desires for change can guide you forward. It is an incredible time to review the ‘Pebbles’ that have been thrown in your ‘Pond of Life’!
Journaling can be a powerful resource as you settle down in the evening to relax with some quiet soothing music for your soul, watching the sun set or the birds in the garden. Nature itself is inspiring. Make time for yourself to sit, and listen within, observe, and you will get insights. Be inquisitive of yourself. Allow the mental and emotional aspects of change to rise to your awareness. If you use a journal as a reflective tool for change, to return to for contemplation as your self enquiry delivers options from the process, you can review and redirect your choices from over time.
Clear the deck for the mystery of change
The work of pruning the gardens, clearing the year’s growth and produce to make way for a new season is a physical representation of this process. Clearing away the overgrowth allows you to see the fences that need maintaining, and the brambles that have taken over. The soil can be replenished with the composted waste, left to mature and come to a point where it can re-enter the flow of the creative process. May be it’s a time for reviewing where new structures can be made to better serve the functionality you choose of any space. On many levels It is a time of clearing and preparing for change. Being outside in nature attunes the senses to these rhythms and its really quite a satisfying process, letting in a breath of fresh air, filling the lungs with life force.
Our social spaces change with the seasons. Some gather around the log fires burning in places of refreshment; for some seasonal games come into play. The need for social interaction is programmed into us for survival. It is rich with companionship and love, the sharing brings a warmth and growth, communication, networking, caring, being valued, laughter and fun. Connection with like minded souls expands of our energy, and the collective creates more than the sum of individual parts. This is a very powerful energy that nourishes the soul, giving wider perspective, as we adventure through the mystery of change together.
Balance between interactive time and self dedicated time is really nourishing. Choosing quiet time for reflection and inner healing, meeting your inner needs, allows you to listen within. At any time of year, those who do not feel included or don’t include themselves for many reasons, including choice, can become depressed and very lonely; losing their soul energy to the point they can become ill. This is accentuated during the receding daylight hours and the onset of seasonal change to autumn and winter.
Overcoming Social Isolation
Social isolation is a huge problem in society today. Breaking this cycle is a process from within, but needs encouragement and support by example from those who are aware. The indirect approaches of just being there, saying hello, sharing a smile, sending a text and a chat can make a big difference. Invitations can be difficult to accept; but if not made with patience and sincerity, the bridge for change and opportunity cannot be offered.
If you are reading this in a state of loneliness and sadness that you wish to change, please take heart. The first steps can feel so scary but are worth it. I invite you to find a library or community centre which will have information about what is on locally. Look for something you may like to do or are curious about, and just have a go with an open mind, almost accepting it may not be for you. Do it for the journey as the wonder of this process is the willingness to explore and be curious.
Embracing Uniqueness
I want you to know that you are unique and that is yours to express in any environment. You won’t be like anyone else, so why put your focus there and worry about not fitting in. (You can hear the voice of experience here, I trust! ) So many fears or inner expectations form our homemade straight jackets. The good thing about them is that they can start to be unpicked, by just taking the first step. Let me tell you a little story!
At age 19 I was very alone, very shy, lacking in confidence and self worth. Overweight but graced with being pretty in some people’s eyes (though not always in mine, certainly not in a full length mirror! And this was a time in my life at my slimmest!). I didn’t know where to begin. My one friend had a boyfriend so was not available to go out with. People couldn’t get close to me as my energy was sad, and I really didn’t know what to talk about and my communication skills were unskilled through lack of practice as I didn’t go out much. However, at that time, I thought the night clubs were where I needed to go to meet people, especially as I love to dance. But as they didn’t start ‘til about 10 pm, I thought that ariving there at about 11pm, the crowd of people wouldn’t notice me on my own.
So, determined to break through this intense loneliness, with a vague and remote hope that someone may ask me to dance or even like to date me, I started to get ready. I kept stopping, sitting on my bed, I wondered what the hell I was doing?! Caught between the pain of staying in again, and the pain of making the effort, I felt sick. There seemed no choice but to try as the former I couldn’t bear the isolation a moment longer. So as not to keep battling with the inner voice of fear and hopelessness, I decided to repeat a mantra to myself, ’Don’t think about it – just do it!’ I finished getting ready. I got into the car, got there, then sat in the car park battling. Then I got out, went in, but went straight to the ladies toilet and hid! Distraught and panicking I stood looking at myself in the mirror (danger zone!) Then I realised and said to myself, ‘Well you got here! You cant just go out again – and I have paid to get in! And.. it’s not so well lit out there, which will feel better…so I can hide out there!’
It didn’t help that the club wasn’t as busy as I had hoped. I went to the bar and ordered a long drink then found myself a corner. The music did help a bit and some were dancing. So I closed my eyes and just danced. The love of my life did not come and sweep me off my feet. I didn’t have fun, but I did find out that I can do things if I choose to. What I had discovered was a useful technique that would block the fear enough to move to the next step, then the next. That was an empowering exercise. Another important lesson was that choosing something to do with a group of like minded people, intending to meet people with a view to friendship and personal growth, would be a better way to gain from all the effort I put into getting out of the house. Making friends whilst sharing an activity had a wider set of benefits than just looking for a relationship at a club!
Hope in strategy for change
There is hope, and there are tools and strategies. I know because I found many that I use still today, 40 years later, that I so love to share. No doubt you have your own that you use to be a ‘can do person’ of your own choosing. It is possible to embrace and be kind to your unique self, and find the confidence to go out into the world. Being on an adventure brings up a feeling like fear, but once you accept that adventures go together with a bit of the unknown, then you can personify fear, squeeze her cheek, put a funny hat on her, and send Fear to the back of queue of the other choices within! Then take the next step!
Change is uncertain though we can plan and get prepared, but it happens anyway, just like the seasons. I planned a lot when I was young and so many things didn’t happen (getting married by age 23, a baby by 27, children at all!!!!) so I came to realise planning for financial security and building a shed or a house is essential. Getting a directional focus for life and putting strategies in place to reivew and be flexible is great too…..but do not underestimate the influence of FLOW.
I still have trouble making space for FLOW at times, but I really appreciate it when I do get into that allowing. Making time for things to unfold, creates space for the unexpected, miracles, and opportunities which could be missed. Much better to make time for Flow, than pushing things along with such determined effort that that leads to hurting myself! Learning to reconnect with your higher self and your inner heart is a skill that can be learnt. Your greater potential is just waiting for your willingness to be open and curious about creating change.
So, yes, I am a work in progress! I regularly chuckle at myself and allow that human life foible of being perfectly imperfect at this level, whilst also embracing that I am perfect whole and complete at a soul level. That is what I call balance and helps to keep the forward momentum rich and uplifting. After all our purpose in life is not so much what we do, but how we bring all of our uniqueness to it.
I find that when really going into that quiet reflection of heart centred integrity with self, it is vitally important is to listen to the feelings/emotion that come up. These are the barometer for the effect of choices and allow us to recognise when change needs to happen or if we are feeling good about the change we chose and have been working on. It is important to realise the difference between inside out thinking, and outside in thinking which is usually framed with, ‘I should…’ or ‘I ought to..’ Whose voice are you listening to? It is more than ok to reivew this! As you can see, CHOICE is empowering!
Conscious creativity
We are mini creators all the time, whether we are conscious of it or not. This is important to note. Our beliefs form from what we made of the experiences and environment of life so far. These form our thoughts, our thoughts form our words, actions and the interaction with our environment going forward. Hence the laws of cause and effect come into play. We can choose to access and change old patterns, to influence the whole chain of our experience of life. Self help techniques can be learnt and used to greate benefit or help sought from professional theraputic techniques; my favourite being emotional freedom technique with matrix reimprinting. So there is much to be gained from this season of review and harvest. Self awareness, meditation and contemplation, emphasises the value of an ongoing process of self care and self development. Conscious creativity can expand the potential for a more joyful life experience, not just for survival, as it would have been for our ancestors.
Being conscious creators is a worthwhile journey to explore. At its core is the process connection to all that is and that which is your uniquenss, to connect to the deep desire of self actualisation of your potential. It can be as simple as following the feeling of inner peace from the choices you are making in the now. Change is not always comfortable in its transition, but life is about cycles and rhythms, both inside and out. Get in touch with yours, and feel the joy to be found in each phase. Express your uniqueness, choose to act in alignment with your inner rhythms, interweaving with the rhythm of life around you as it unfolds from your choices, moment by moment. Make the change a process to interact with positively and it will become very fertile ground for your seeds of intention.
Blessings on your creative journey!
May you feel the joy in the rain and the rainbows that clear the air and clouds. Blessings on your willingness to embrace a process of letting go of the old and making way for more sunshine in your life. Celebrate with gratitude your wonder-filled combination of uniqueness within yourself and others! Nothing stays the same, so enjoy the mystery it brings and find choices that feel good on the way!
Namaste
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